Romance scams costlier than ever: 10 percent of victims lose $10,000 or more

Romance scams continue to plague users, but their costs have risen to staggering heights, according to a Malwarebytes survey carried out last month via our weekly newsletter.

More than 66 percent of 850 respondents have been targeted by a romance scam, and those that were ensnared paid a hefty price, with 10 percent of victims losing $10,000 and up. A shocking 3 percent parted with $100,000 or more. The vast majority of those who lost money were unable to recover it, highlighting the need for increased awareness of evolving romance scam tactics and aggressive new methods of manipulation.

Romance scams, also known as confidence or dating scams, typically involve people being targeted online, with the scammers building their victim’s trust over several months. Victims are led to believe they’re in a committed relationship before being tricked into sending money, valuables, and personal information, or to launder money on the perpetrator’s behalf. In addition, some scammers convince their targets into investing in fraudulent cryptocurrency schemes, a method known as pig butchering.

While these scams are nothing new, their popularity has risen since the pandemic and ensuing loneliness epidemic, driven by an increasing reliance on the internet to connect. However, with the return to in-person gatherings, our survey results show romance scams have hardly petered out. Rather, they’re as pervasive as ever, with 52 percent of respondents targeted in the last year alone. And they’ve advanced, as cybercriminals now tap into global scamming networks for scripts, training, and technology to squeeze more money from victims.

As David Ruiz, Senior Privacy Advocate at Malwarebytes, puts it:

“Romance and dating scams are run by sophisticated cybercriminals who know what they’re doing. They conduct research, and follow a playbook. The more we can remove the stigma surrounding victims and provide education and resources, the faster we can minimize the devastating effects of these scams.”

According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), over 64,000 people reported romance scams in 2023, with losses totaling $1.1 billion. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) received 17,823 complaints last year, costing victims nearly $653 million. However, that data doesn’t capture the recent trend of pig butchering, as romance scammers increasingly incorporate crypto investment fraud for higher payouts. Financial losses from investment fraud totaled $4.6 billion in 2023, the costliest internet crime for consumers.

For a full breakdown of survey results, including demographics, scammer tactics, and financial and emotional impacts, read below.

****Demographics of romance scams****

The majority of survey respondents were subject to romance scam advances within the last year, with 37 percent saying it happened within the last six months, and an additional 15 percent saying it happened between six months and one year ago.

The majority of targets are over the age of 55 (74 percent) and male (56 percent), a pattern consistent with previous trends. As with most scams, older users are targeted because they typically have more assets but are perhaps less familiar with online security. The Department of Homeland Security says cybercriminals zero in on recently widowed or divorced seniors for their vulnerability and access to cash.

However, 26 percent of victims are between 18 and 54 years old. In fact, the FTC asserts that the most common victims of romance scam sextortion are 18–29 years old.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the vast majority of phony romantic overtures took place on social media and online dating apps, with 38 and 31 percent of survey respondents targeted on those platforms, respectively. In fact, the proliferation of scams is one reason noted for the decline in social media and dating app use over the last two years. A recent Barclays survey found one third of Brits avoid online dating and dating apps due to romance scam fears.

Romance scams that start on social media end up costing the most. The FTC found from January 2021 to June 2023, more money was lost to scams originating on social media than by any other contact method. Consumers lost $2.7 billion in social media fraud, with crypto investment and romance scams resulting in the steepest costs, accounting for 67 percent of total losses. In the first six months of 2023, half of those who lost money to romance scams said it began on Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat.

Romance scammers prefer using social media and dating apps to reach their targets because they can easily create fake profiles and tailor their personas to content victims share and like. Criminals can even use advertising tools to methodically select targets based on personal details such as age, interests, or past purchases. More recent trends involve romance scammers using AI to draft convincing emails, create fake photos in the likeness of their target’s recently-departed spouse, or develop deepfake videos of celebrities endorsing their investment scheme.

In addition, despite having strong anti-scam controls, nearly 16 percent of surveyed romance scam targets were initially contacted by email. Just over 10 percent were reached via text, a popular contact method for pig butchering.

****How long does the scam last?****

If survey results are an indication, the majority of those targeted by romance scams have become savvy to their ways—though Malwarebytes newsletter subscribers may be particularly well-informed. 55 percent knew it was a scam right away and never responded. Almost 19 percent figured out the scam within one week, meaning nearly three-quarters of respondents demonstrated excellent cybersecurity awareness.

Unfortunately, that leaves 26 percent engaging with romance scammers for more than two weeks, with 12 percent spending several months talking to pretend paramours, and 5 percent in a faux relationship for one year or more. In general, the longer a respondent was “together” with their scammer, the more money they lost. The exceptions were those who recognized the scam immediately, but spent weeks or months leading them on to waste their time. While this might seem like poetic justice, many romance scammers themselves are victims of human trafficking, forced to work up to 15 hours a day extracting enough money from victims to meet impossibly high quotas.

****Money lost****

User awareness wins the day again, preventing nearly three quarters of those targeted by a romance scam from losing money. However, the majority of those who did part with cash lost a lot of it—10 percent lost $10,000 or more, and 3 percent reported losses in the six figures. An additional 7 percent of survey respondents were scammed out of $1,000–$9,999, and 5 percent lost between $200 and $999. Just 3 percent of victims were scammed out of less than $200.

This means a full 22.5 percent of those targeted by a romance scam end up losing $1,000 and up—enough to make a significant impact on finances, especially for those with lower incomes. In 2023, romance scam victims—not counting those who reported crypto investment fraud—lost a median of $2,000 per person, the highest reported losses for any form of imposter scam, according to the FTC. Romance scams were also the third costliest fraud type reported to the FTC by older Americans (age 60 and over).

The FBI 2023 Internet Crimes Report noted financial losses to investment scams rose from $3.3 billion in 2022 to $4.6 billion in 2023—a 38 percent increase over the 183 percent gained the previous year. Combined, romance and investment scams were the costliest and second-most common internet crimes reported to the FBI last year as well, a fact reflected in Malwarebytes’ survey results and participant testimonials.

Tellingly, 94 percent of those who lost money were unable to recover it. Those who wish to recover cryptocurrency should be aware of additional scams by fraudulent businesses promising to trace and return funds. No private sector company can recover crypto—only legal or internal processes can compel cryptocurrency exchanges to release money back to victims.

****Reporting the scam****

Stigma is still a problem in dealing with the aftermath of a romance scam. Victims report heightened feelings of betrayal and shame on top of their financial burden. Yet 40 percent of surveyed romance scam victims didn’t tell another soul about what happened. An additional 30 percent only opened up to their closest confidantes. And while research suggests individuals impacted by the stress and trauma of romance scams benefit from counseling or support groups, just 4 percent sought out therapy after their experience.

However, there does appear to be a larger portion of romance scam targets willing to speak out than in the past. One quarter of our survey respondents said they told many others about their ordeal, with 11 percent submitting reports to law enforcement and/or nonprofit organizations. Data obtained by the BBC shows there were 7,660 cases processed in England and Wales by a self-reporting tool last year, up from 4,842 in 2019.

How to spot and avoid a romance scam

Romance scams aren’t going away, so here’s how to spot signs that someone isn’t who they say they are.

• Their profile and picture seem too good to be true
• They profess love and affection very quickly
• They share a lot about themselves in the first meeting
• They claim to be overseas and cannot stay in one place for long
• They try to lure you from whatever platform you are on to talk to you via email or video chat
• They claim to need money for something

Here’s what you can do to keep yourself safe:

• Don’t give scammers the information they need. Scammers rely on what you volunteer about yourself online to tweak their script and lure you in. Use tools such as the Malwarebytes Personal Data Remover to minimize the amount of data accessible through search engine results, spam lists, and people search sites.
• Perform an image search of the photo and the name of the person you’re in touch with. Scammers often steal someone else’s image to use as bait, and stolen identities are rife.
• Go slow. Scammers tend to rush, building rapport with their victims as quickly as possible before moving in for the money-themed kill.
• Never give money to anyone you’ve met online
• Get a second opinion from someone you trust
• If in doubt, back away and report the account.

If you’ve been impacted by a romance scam, pig butchering, or crypto investment fraud, you can report the crime to the Internet Crimes Complaint Center (IC3), which is run by the FBI, or the FTC on its reporting and resources page.

To talk with other romance scam victims in safe online forums, go to the reddit thread r/Romancescam, or apply to the private Facebook Support Group for Romance Scam Victims.