Millennials’ sense of privacy uniquely tested in romantic relationships

Millennials are in a bind.

According to a new analysis of research released earlier this year by Malwarebytes, Millennials are significantly more likely than every other generation to feel that there is no need to share their online account logins with boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, or significant others, and that keeping such information private shows trust between partners.

And yet, Millennials still grant their romantic partners the same level of access as Gen Z partners do to their devices, locations, online banking accounts, ride-sharing services, vacation rental platforms, and more, causing a crisis of consent amongst a small number of Millennial partners who agreed: Their sharing is done only under duress.

The new findings—which come from a follow-on investigation into the data compiled in the Malwarebytes report “What’s mine is yours: How couples share an all-access pass to their digital lives”—reveal a unique problem for Millennials who grew up before the internet took hold of public life. Straddled with fading privacy norms, Millennials are not entirely convinced that healthy relationships should involve such high, digital demands.

****A stronger sense of privacy****

For Millennials, privacy is seemingly sacred.

Ranking higher than any other age group, 67% of Millennials in committed relationships agreed that they “don’t feel the need to share my device logins or passwords with significant others.” The rates of agreement for the same sentiment were significantly lower amongst Gen Z respondents (57%), Gen X respondents (52%), and Baby Boomer respondents (49%).

Relatedly, Millennials also believed that privacy between romantic partners was crucial to a healthy relationship.

When asked about a similar statement, 73% of Millennials agreed that “keeping your personal login information (account or computer passwords, device PINs, etc.) private in a romantic partnership shows trust between partners.” Again, the rates of agreement amongst other age groups were lower, with just 56% of Gen X respondents and 57% of Baby Boomers feeling the same way. Gen Z respondents also reported a lower rate, at 68%.

Alone, these two findings don’t reveal that Millennials are particularly unique, but it is where Millennials split off—from either Gen Z respondents or older Gen X respondents and Baby Boomers—that their online beliefs come into focus.

For example, Millennials, Gen X respondents, and Baby Boomers all reported similar rates of refusing to share their locations with their romantic partners through apps like Apple’s Find My, or through third-party apps like Google Maps. When asked if they currently share their locations these ways with their significant others, 16% of Millennials said “No, and I never would.” They were joined nearly hand-in-hand with Gen X respondents (17%) and Baby Boomer respondents (18%).

But in looking at Gen Z, a separate vision of location privacy emerges—just 10% of Gen Z respondents said they do not, and never would, share their locations with their significant through the use of apps. Gen Z respondents, for their part, were the most likely to agree that “sharing locations with my significant other makes me feel safer” (85%).

Unsatisfied with account sharing and unconvinced about location sharing, Millennials should report lower rates of those exact activities with their own romantic partners.

The strange thing is they don’t.

****Similar sharing****

Millennials in committed relationships share just as much access to many of their devices and online accounts as Gen Z respondents do—from their computers to their tablets to their messaging apps and their online photo albums.

When asked if their romantic partners have access to specific types of personal accounts, Millennials and Gen Z reported similar rates of sharing for:

• Computer PIN/password (73% of Millennials and 69% of Gen Z)
• Location sharing apps such as Find My/Find My Device (71% of Millennials and 73% of Gen Z)
• Messaging apps such as WhatsApp, Messenger, Viber, WeChat, etc. (55% of Millennials and 52% of Gen Z)
• Food/grocery deliver apps such as Uber Eats, DoorDash, Instacart, etc. (63% of Millennials and 60% of Gen Z)
• Ride-hailing apps such as Uber, Lyft, etc. (57% of Millennials and 58% of Gen Z)
• Vacation rental apps such as Airbnb, Vrbo, etc. (58% of Millennials and 55% of Gen Z)

In fact, though variations between the two generations did appear for certain behaviors, including sharing access to email accounts, social media, and phone passcodes, the difference in reporting was never large enough to be statistically significant. When it comes to sharing actual account and location access, Millennials are far more similar to Gen Z than to Gen X and Baby Boomer respondents.

But the sharing doesn’t come without wrinkles.

More than any other generation, Millennials were more likely to say they shared account access with their romantic partners only because their partners insisted.

For respondents who granted at least some account and app access to their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, or partners, 16% of Millennials agreed:

“My partner insists on sharing account access even though I don’t want to.”

That rate was significantly higher than Gen Z (9%), Gen X (4%), and Baby Boomers (1%).

Millennials were also the most likely to agree that, if they had granted some account access to their romantic partners, it was because of threats they received.

At significantly higher rates than Gen X respondents (2%) and Baby Boomers (2%), and at slightly higher rates than Gen Z respondents (9%), 14% of Millennials agreed: “My partner has threatened me over sharing account access (for example, said they would break up with me, harm me physically or emotionally, not talk to me/shut me out, etc.).”

****Different dilemma****

Millennials in committed relationships are at a crossroads.

As the last generation to be raised without smartphones, their sense of privacy—particularly around location—stands in stark contrast to Gen Z. They are less likely to see the value in sharing online account access with their romantic partners, and more likely to say that, when they do share such access, it is only because their partner insists.

Where the pressure is coming from, exactly, is unclear. It may be from having relationships with Gen Z partners (the reported average age gap between heterosexual couples in America of 2.3 years allows for intergenerational couples in their late 20s for Millennials and Gen Z). It may also be from other Millennials who are becoming influenced by modern dating norms.

Whatever the cause, there is guidance for setting and adhering to the type of online sharing that works for each couple. To learn more about consensual location sharing, avoiding online harassment, and what risks lie ahead for couples that overshare, visit the Modern Love in the Digital Age hub below.